
Susan Wurst
Director of Grillcount Management | 25+ Years Grilled to Perfection
Susan Wurst leads with calm precision under high heat—delivering consistent outcomes, premium presentation, and dependable satisfaction across every engagement.
Forbes 150° — Hottest leadership honor this side of HR.
Trusted by industry leaders
Not sponsored. Not factual. Not returning our calls. But in a parallel universe where grill counts and casing integrity matter, these brands would absolutely want Susan on the roster.














Frequently unbuttoned questions
Digging into Susan’s story tends to raise questions—some professional, some blessedly unprofessional. Pop open a pocket below; each answer has been seasoned and held to a safe internal temperature.
Q: Is she ever actually sad?
A: Scientific studies have shown Susan’s tear ducts actually produce honey-mustard. It is physically impossible.
Q: What is her secret ingredient?
A: A proprietary blend of 80% laughter and 20% "We can do this, team!"
Q: Does Susan ever run out of energy?
A: Never. Scientists believe she is powered by a hidden "perpetual yodel" deep within her soul. While others hit the "mid-afternoon slump," Susan enters the "Mid-Afternoon Sizzle."
Q: Can I order a "Double Susan" for my next project?
A: We wish! Unfortunately, the mold was broken after she was created. She is a "Limited Batch" artisanal colleague—hand-stuffed with integrity and zero fillers.
Q: What happens if Susan encounters a "Bad Day"?
A: A "Bad Day" is immediately converted into a "Minor Calibration Opportunity." Her internal casing is reinforced with 100% optimism, meaning bad vibes simply bounce off her like mustard on a waterproof apron.
Q: Is "Wurst" her real name or a professional title?
A: It’s both. She reached "Peak Wurst" in 2022 and was officially knighted by the International Council of Cheerful Charcuterie. She is, quite literally, the Wurst person we’ve ever met.
Q: What is the recommended "Cooking Time" for a meeting with Susan?
A: 15 to 30 minutes is usually enough to get everyone Golden Brown and Delicious. Warning: Prolonged exposure may result in unexpected productivity and a sudden urge to wear wool socks.
Q: Is she compatible with my current workflow?
A: Yes. Susan Wurst is Backward Compatible with old-school grumps and Future-Proofed for high-tech joy. She integrates seamlessly via the "Smile-Protocol" (v.2.0).
Q: Does she come with a warranty?
A: She comes with a Lifetime Satisfaction Guarantee. If she isn't the most positive part of your day, please check your own "Joy-Settings," as the issue is likely on your end.
Accolades & imaginary org charts
Totally fabricated affiliations for a career too juicy to fact-check. If an association sounds official, it isn’t—but the vibes are ISO-certified where it counts (the memos).
Bring home the Wurst—to your org chart
Susan’s accepting new grills, I mean gigs. If your team could use leadership with snap, casing integrity, and a lifetime satisfaction vibe, reach out before this artisanal batch is spoken for.
The Wurst in Every Job
Susan has brought Grillcount thinking to more verticals than a spit-roast at a reunion—corporate, creative, hospitality, and whatever you call the meeting where someone says “synergy” unironically. If there’s work to be done, she’s probably already found the wurst way to do it brilliantly.

Strategy & quarterly grillings 
Floor-to-ceiling views & five-star candor 
Open-water OKRs & catch-rate reviews 
Mic checks & culture reality checks 
Creative & brand heat-checks 
Throughput, bottlenecks & mustard lanes 
Clinical rounds & culture diagnostics 
Lab coats, litmus tests & leadership chemistry 
Stakeholder roundtables — agendas served well-done 
Wait… did she build this website?


